


For the Very First Time

by IsThisNameOnBrand



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bisexual Female Character, Drax is healthy masculinity, F/M, Loss of Virginity, Post-Endgame, Starmora, Starmora Week 2019, bisexual Gamora, bros talking about their feelings, sex ed with Yondu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-27 14:57:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20762252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsThisNameOnBrand/pseuds/IsThisNameOnBrand
Summary: As Peter and Gamora approach their second first time, a Madonna song prompts them to talk about past sexual partners. Post-Endgame. Created for the #StarmoraWeek2019 prompt "Partners/Rhythm"





	For the Very First Time

It had been awhile now since Gamora had rejoined the Guardians. Long enough that she was a real part of the crew again. Long enough that she was falling back in love with Peter. 

The two of them were returning to the Benatar after a romantic moonlit walk by the fountains in Xandar's capitol. Peter had an arm around Gamora's shoulders, and she had one around his waist. As they entered the corridor that held the crew's quarters, Gamora turned toward Peter. She reached a small green hand up toward his bearded face and invited him into a long, slow, passionate kiss. Not the kind of kiss that says goodbye. The kind that says the night is just getting started.

Peter pulled back.

"Well, here's your bunk," he whispered. "Careful not to wake Nebula. You know how she is."

"Yours is just a little further," Gamora said in her way that was more of a command than a temptation. "And it's big enough for two."

"Are you sure?" said Peter.

"Yes, I'm sure of the dimensions of your bunk," she teased.

"I mean, are you sure you're ready for that?"

"I'm the one who brought it up," Gamora frowned.

"I'm just not sure it's a good idea," said Peter.

"Okay, then," said Gamora. She abruptly went to the room she was sharing with Nebula and somehow managed to silently slam the door shut.

Peter wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed that she gave up so easily. But, he reminded himself, he knew this was for the best.

He couldn't just go to sleep after all that, so he went to the common room to look for a snack or maybe something to drink. 

"Why did you do that?" Drax's voice startled him.

"Geez, Drax!" Peter exclaimed as he slammed the food cooler shut in surprise. "Why did I do what?"

"Gamora told you the dimensions of your bed so you would reach the obvious conclusion and invite her into it," said Drax. "Instead you sent her to sleep alone with her sister. This is inconsistent behavior from you in many ways."

"I just wasn't up for...that, tonight," Peter said.

"Ahh, I understand," Drax nodded sagely. "Impotence afflicts men of all species at one time or another, especially species as repressed and sexually shamed as humans."

"No! That's definitely not what I meant! Not the problem, never has been the problem," Peter protested.

"Human men would not squelch their virility if they would be more truthful about their feelings and desires," said Drax.

"Yeah, that's it, I just need to man up and talk about my feelings in a touchy-feely sharing circle," Peter rolled his eyes.

"Yes! Though I could do without the touching," said Drax.

"I can't talk to anyone about this," said Peter. "It's between me and Gamora. Actually, Gamora doesn't even know it's between me and her. That's kind of the problem."

"I will keep the secret," Drax swore. "The wrath of a Raqxicoran deprived of the first taste of summer's third lunar honey harvest could not make me betray my bond of silence."

"Well, that was weirdly specific," said Peter. "Fine, I'll tell you. Remember our first time on Knowhere? Gamora and I had this moment where we kind of opened up about how we got where we were, and we found out we were both abducted as kids and raised to be weapons. I let her listen to my music — my mom's music — and she liked it. It was like we had this connection we'd never had with anyone before."

"And then you debased yourself by inviting her to dance," Drax nodded. 

"I was thinking about more than dancing," Peter admitted. "She was, too. But then she freaked the hell out, drew her sword, and pinned it to my throat. I seriously thought she was going to cut my head off."

"And yet you dance still," Drax shook his head.

"That's not the point," said Peter. "The point is, about a year and a half after we finally got together, she told me..."

Peter lowered his voice. He looked around to make absolutely sure he and Drax were alone. Quietly, he said, "She told me I was the only one who made it past the 'freak the hell out and draw the giant sword' stage."

"Where is that stage in Zen-Whoberi courtship rituals?" Drax asked.

"It's not part of their courtship rituals," said Peter. "It's part of Gamora was raised by a psychopath and didn't...you know...let her guard down. With anyone. Ever."

"Nor should she," said Drax. "She is an excellent warrior and it would behoove you to follow her example."

"Good grief, do I have to spell it out?" Peter threw his hands up. In a frustrated whisper, he said, "She was a virgin when we met her."

"That's impossible," said Drax. "She was a whore, remember?"

"Drax, we've been over this," Peter rolled his eyes. "She never did actual sex work. Someone in the Kyln called her that word as a general insult."

"Why would it be an insult? Whores provide a valuable service in exchange for a fair wage. That's the very definition of honest work."

"Well, it's work Gamora never did," Peter snapped. "I was the only person she ever had sex with."

"That poor woman," Drax mourned. 

"Can't say I disagree," Peter shrugged. "I mean, not that I doubt my abilities. I just took for granted that she had plenty to compare it to."

"Would there have been any difference in your approach if you had known?"

"To be totally honest, yeah," said Peter. "Giving someone their first time, especially someone who's been through as much as Gamora, it's a big responsibility."

"You loathe responsibility," said Drax.

"Right! Exactly! That's why I used to stick with girls who seemed like they got around as much as I did and wanted as little out of it as I did."

"Didn't you ask Gamora about her sexual history before you mated with her?" Drax asked, as though that were a normal and obvious thing to do.

"She brought it up first. Said she didn't want to talk about her past or hear about mine. That was fair, and kind of a relief since my past involved some incredibly stupid decisions."

"On my planet, it's customary to disclose one's entire sexual history to a new partner before intercourse begins," said Drax. "It can be invigorating foreplay."

"I — uh — okay, I have no idea what to say to that," said Peter.

"You will never be as uninhibited and as virile as the men of my homeworld, Quill. You must accept this and live with the disappointment of your inferior conditioning. But you can still learn from us and grow beyond your Terran weaknesses."

"What are you saying, that I should tell Gamora about every partner I've ever had?"

"I doubt you're capable of such a feat," said Drax. "But you can talk to Gamora instead of deciding alone what experiences she is or is not prepared for."

*

The next day, when the others were all busy enough not to notice, Peter invited Gamora to talk alone in his quarters.

"Change your mind?" she asked with a hint of contempt.

"I just want to talk," said Peter.

"I can _talk_ with my sister, or Mantis, or Drax, or anyone else on board if I want," said Gamora.

"Look, I know why you're mad at me. That's what I want to talk to you about. And you're probably going to be way more mad at me after we have this conversation. But I really think it needs to be had if this thing between us is going anywhere."

Gamora looked at him, her expressive face full of skepticism and annoyance. But she pushed past him and led the way to his quarters. Once inside, she sat down on the corner of his bed with her feet firmly on the floor and her back rigidly upright.

"Mind if I close the door?" Peter asked. "You probably won't want the whole crew to hear this conversation."

"Go ahead, unless you're afraid to be alone with the woman who's been making unwanted advances toward you," said Gamora.

Peter closed the door and took a seat on the other side of her, remembering that she preferred to have as little as possible between herself and the nearest exit.

"So," he began, "you know how, in the other timeline, you and I were a couple for almost four years?"

"Yes, it's been mentioned a time or two, although I'm beginning to wonder how we ever reached that point," she said.

"Well, in the beginning, I was the one who was pursuing you," he said.

"I'm finding that hard to believe," said Gamora.

"That was before I literally killed my Ego," said Peter. "Then I lost him and Yondu on the same day, and things got weird. Everything was too serious for crap like flirting with my hot, badass, brilliant, hot crewmate. So I was a lot more chill, and I guess you liked that. Before we both knew it, we were acting like an old married couple, and not in a bad way. Then, it wasn't long before we started acting like honeymooners."

"You mean we visited the moon of Raqxicor Beta?" Gamora puzzled.

"It's an Earth thing," said Peter. "It doesn't have anything to do with moons or honey. It means we were all over each other, all the time."

"I see," said Gamora. "Which one of us initiated this phase in our relationship?"

"I did," Peter said, almost like a confession. "You said yes right away, though, and you seemed really happy about it. I think."

"You think? You didn't know?" Gamora said, looking a bit disturbed. Her eyes darted briefly toward the door.

"Well, I thought I could tell at the time," Peter hastily assured her. "But I...here." He pulled out his Zune and flipped through the songs until he came to the one he wanted. "About a year and a half later, you and I got drunk together and were listening to music on shuffle, and this song came on." He handed her an earbud.

_I made it through the wilderness_  
_Somehow I made it through_  
_Didn't know how lost I was_  
_Until I found you_

Gamora relaxed into a smile as she let herself feel the song.

_I was beat_  
_Incomplete_  
_I'd been had, I was sad and blue_  
_But you made me feel_  
_Yeah, you made me feel_  
_Shiny and new_

Peter braced himself for the chorus.

_Like a virgin_  
_Touched for the very first time_  
_Like a virgin_  
_When your heart beats_  
_Next to mine_

Gamora dropped the earbud like it was on fire. She eyed Peter with a mixture of anger, embarrassment, and betrayal. After a long, uncomfortable silence, she said, "I told you, didn't I?"

"Yeah," said Peter. "I didn't think much of it at the time. We were both totally wasted. But the next day when we'd sobered up, I started thinking about our first time, and how many things I might have done different if I knew it was your _first_ time."

"I can't believe I told you that," Gamora said in her resigned, we're-all-going-to-die voice. "I've been feeling like the closer you and I get, the stupider I become." She sighed. "You and I must have been unbelievably close before." 

"We were," said Peter. "And for what it's worth, while we were still hammered, I told you all about my first time."

"I suppose you're going to tell me again," said Gamora.

"If you want to hear it." This hadn't actually occurred to him, but it did seem fair.

"I didn't want any of this conversation, but go ahead," she said with a studied air of indifference.

"I was seventeen," said Peter. "This new Kree girl was doing a job with the Ravagers. A runaway, right around my age. Her name was Xirsha. She was hot, in a dangerous kind of way."

"I guess you have a type," said Gamora. 

"You could say that," Peter chuckled. "Every time she walked in the room, I could hear a Joan Jett song in my head. The rest of the crew noticed, of course, especially Yondu and Kraglin. They all kept giving me a hard time about it. Day before she was scheduled to leave, Yondu grabbed me by the arm, shoved a tin of pills in my pocket, said he'd shoot my balls off and make me throw them out an airlock if he ever heard the words 'you're the father' spoken in my direction, and left."

"That's fair," Gamora nodded. 

"Hey, I was traumatized!" Peter laughed. "It was five whole minutes before I recovered enough to take a pill and find Xirsha. I had a smooth pickup line all ready, but I didn't get more than two words of it out before she pinned my head to the wall with her mouth. And, well, we took it from there."

"How was it?" asked Gamora.

"Nothing compared to us," Peter assured her.

"I wouldn't think otherwise. You were children. Tell me, truly, how was it?"

"Intense. Confusing. Awkward. Freakin' awesome," he laughed. "I didn't know what was going on half the time, but I sure as hell wasn't going to stop and ask. She took the lead right away, and I was happy to let her."

"I see," said Gamora. "And did she appear satisfied?"

"Oh, yeah," said Peter. "Anyway, the next day, she left before I woke up. I never saw her again."

"Did you want to?"

"I told myself I didn't," Peter shrugged. "Yondu told me the same thing. Said I hit the jackpot." He was silent for a moment. "You were the first time I let myself admit I wanted more," he said quietly. "That it wasn't just about getting off. It was something bigger with us. Like, we had this connection, and it had gotten deeper and deeper, and now we had this new way of connecting with each other. It was the first time I had any of that. The first time sex was the beginning of something, not the end of it."

Gamora rested her hand on his. "So you were _like_ a virgin, like the song says," she said softly. 

"Yeah, I guess that is actually what the song's about," Peter acknowledged.

"Could you play it again?" she asked.

"Sure."

They sat, holding hands, silently listening together.

_Gonna give you all my love, boy_  
_My fear is fading fast_  
_Been saving it all for you_  
_'Cause only love can last_

_You're so fine_  
_And you're mine_  
_Make me strong, yeah you make me bold_  
_Oh your love thawed out_  
_Yeah, your love thawed out_  
_What was scared and cold_

_Like a virgin, hey_  
_Touched for the very first time_  
_Like a virgin_  
_With your heartbeat_  
_Next to mine_

Gamora paused the Zune halfway into the second chorus. "Peter," she said, "since you've been so honest with me, there's something I want to tell you about."

"Sure, anything," he said.

"It seems I was a virgin when I met you in both timelines, but in this one, there was over a year between our meeting and our reunion."

"Ohhh," Peter said as realization dawned on him. "Look, you don't have to-"

"It's okay, I want to, really," she said. There was a certain vulnerability to her demeanor, but also a hint of well-earned boasting to come. "Do you remember Carol Danvers? From the final battle against Thanos?"

Peter sat in blank, dumbfounded silence.

"She was the one who-"

"Yeah, everyone remembers who she is," Peter assured her. "Are...are you saying…"

"We ran into each other in an out-of-the-way spaceport, in a bar with a strict females-only policy," said Gamora. "She had known of me as a daughter of Thanos, later as a Guardian of the Galaxy, then as one of the Fallen from the Infinity War, and now she knew of me as one who had gone into the final battle with her as a comrade in arms. She came up to me and said she had hoped to meet me properly after the battle, but she never got a chance."

"So, once she had a chance…?"

"I was both intrigued and irritated by her brash confidence. We ate together, drank together, and talked long into the night. My irritation decreased as my intrigue increased. I learned that she was from the United American States on Earth, that she was one of the best pilots on the planet, that she had all sorts of Terran cultural references that I didn't understand but sounded fascinating the way she told them, and that she loved music," said Gamora.

"Wow," said Peter. "I guess you have a type, too."

"My 'type' must include hidden tragedy," said Gamora. "I learned the true reason Carol hates returning to Earth. Her lover grew weary of waiting for her return, moved on, and found a wife."

"So Carol was on the rebound," said Peter.

"And I was experiencing true freedom for the first time," said Gamora. "Despite all her brashness and her immense power, I felt safe with Carol. I felt she would neither harm me nor allow anyone else to. She made no secret of her attraction to me. So I invited her back to my ship. Regardless of my lack of experience, I took the lead. It felt like the natural thing to do. She enjoyed allowing it. Then we switched, which was another kind of pleasure entirely."

"There's so much to process here," said Peter.

"We switched roles a few more times, and then we fell asleep in each other's arms," said Gamora. "The next day we slept late. She treated me to a meal she called 'brunch.' Then we kissed goodbye and went our separate ways, equally, I hope, satisfied with the experience."

"Wow," was the only word Peter could find. The words he was fruitlessly searching for were _I didn't think there could be anything more intimidating than taking the love of my life's virginity but now I know there is and it's "following Carol Freakin' Danvers."_

"So you don't have to worry about giving me an adequate first time," said Gamora. "I've already lain with a living infinity stone."

"And you still want me? Us? This?"

"Unless you plan to wait around until I change my mind."

Peter started the Zune again. He grabbed a small box of pills from his top drawer and used it as a microphone.

_You're so fine_  
_And you're mine_  
_I'll be yours_  
_'Til the end of time_  
_'Cause you made me feel_  
_Yeah, you made me feel_  
_I've nothing to hide_

With a smile that threatened to become a gale of laughter, Gamora took possession of the Zune with one hand and pulled Peter down onto the bed with the other. 

"These pills take like twenty minutes to-"

"I know," she said. "We can pass the time."

By the time Peter swallowed a pill, Gamora had already flung her sweater aside and was working on her tank top and whatever support system she had going on under it. Peter ripped his t-shirt off and let Gamora pull him into her bare arms as the Zune faintly played beside them.

_Like a virgin_  
_Feels so good inside_  
_When you hold me_  
_And your heart beats_  
_And you love me_  
_Can't you hear my heart beat_  
_For the very first time?_

*

The next day, Drax found Peter alone in the common room. "So, did you heed my advice?" he asked.

"I did," said Peter. "It turned out way better than I expected."

"You gave Gamora a satisfactory experience, then?"

"That will stay between me and her," said Peter.

"You're a fortunate man," said Drax. "Few if any others are given a second first time with their true love."

"I am pretty lucky," Peter concurred. He was lucky, he knew, not just because of his second chance, but because he had found someone who always had and always would make him feel like he was discovering everything — love, loss, intimacy, heartbreak, partnership, family, happiness, everything — for the very first time.


End file.
